Wife uses sex to motivate me

Sex and Wife What

Most likely this is to intentionally dampen your desire for her. Your spouse controls not only the amount but also the timing of sex as an attempt to gain more power in the marriage. With awareness and focus, you can shift away from unhealthy communication patterns that harm you and your relationships.

I’ll start by saying I’m accepting (or at least I think I am) of my wife’s sexual history, as we all have a past that cannot be changed. Here are 4 signs: Is she nagging and criticizing you regularly? Sexual intimacy can be restored when sex is not used as a weapon or tool to gain power and control.

Sometimes, she might hold back from having sex if she doesn’t get what she wants or use it as a conditionally expected reward to get her way.

Sex Wars When Sex

How do you know if sex is being used as a weapon against you? Consciously and unconsciously, sex is all too often used as a tool to gain power or control in marriages and eventually leads to long-term damage. Has she let herself go? Having a boundary that your needs can no longer be denied or rejected along with an open, authentic conversation about how you feel about this, may open the lines of communication, and increase your chances of bringing about change.

When your spouse is using sex as a weapon, not only does a power struggle take place, but also likely a full-scale war is silently waged between you. The truth is that there is no simple resolution. The sad truth is that most men are very aware of this movement and what is going on.

5 Things to Do

We all know men are visual beings, which means the attraction is a visual experience for them. They are most likely not the best they can be due to this underlying tension nagging at their self-esteem and self-worth.

For change to happen, I suggest creating a boundary with your spouse. If she keeps track of things that she wants you to do, i. This turns a shared experience as a couple, into something one-sided and creates a troubling power imbalance.

So Sex Has Become

All of these motivators involve viewing sex as something that’s mutually satisfying and also positive for the relationship. One of the most common reasons I see men seeking a divorce is the fact that their spouse had been using sex as a weapon in their marriage, which then led to a sexless relationship, and ultimately now seeking a divorce.

When discussing this issue with my clients, I hear the many consequences of withholding sex has caused; resentment, and alienation, affected their value, and confidence, and erodes the trust in their marriage. I’ve been married for 8 years, together for 12, currently separated.

They reach out to us in frustration stating how their wife controls every aspect of their sex life, or uses sex to get what they want, and the husbands are scared to death to talk about it, bring it up, or even pursue sex anymore.

A troubled sex life is often symptomatic of unresolved issues that can be healed with open communication. No marriage can function well when the beauty of sexuality is used in a harmful, controlling manner.

Withholding Sex in a

Here's why spouses should never use sex as a reward or punishment in the relationship. When your spouse is using sex as a weapon, not only does a power struggle take place, but also likely a full-scale war is silently waged between you.

If your wife uses sex as a way to control you, arguably, she possesses one of the signs of manipulation. I put it this way to clients who are living in this scenario and are very unhappy, their children are probably not seeing the best version of themselves.

Not only is the couple often miserable, but the children may suffer because of unresolved problems. No marriage can function well when the beauty of sexuality is used in a harmful, controlling manner. If this has gone on for long periods, especially years, chances are slim change will occur.

Wife Uses Her Sexual

My [ ]. During the break, a wife of an attendee pulled me aside and asked for my advice. Couples have sex for many different reasons: to express affection, to feel more connected, to celebrate good news, to just enjoy something physically and mentally pleasurable together.

Reader Knows Too Much writes, I have a question in relation to sex, marriage etc. Sex is also intentionally withheld as retaliation for not having her emotional or physical needs met. Consciously and unconsciously, sex is all too often used as a tool to gain power or control in marriages and eventually leads to long-term damage.